I Have Nothing
by PoppieJoy
Summary: "You are not nothing. You will never be nothing and you have never been nothing. You are Everything. Everything and more." One-Shot: a tribute to the late Whitney Houston. Santana speaks to Brittany in her own special way.


**So this is not very well written at all and I smashed it out in hardly any time at all but I was so saddened by the news of Whitney Houston's death that I just had to write something based on her and one of her songs. This one-shot is written through the song **_**I Have Nothing**_**. RIP Whitney.**

**Enjoy x**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. But I don't actually own Nothing. You will see that when you read this one-shot.**

...There are so many things I want to tell you, Brittany.

Certain things.

Specific things.

Tiny, little, detailed things that actually are not that tiny, little and detailed. They're big. Massive. Huge. Things I would never be able to tell anyone else.

Things I can't tell anyone else.

Things that no one else can ever be told because there is no one else to tell them to.

It's all you, Brittany. It's always been all of you.

I'm going to tell you all these tiny, little, detailed yet big, massive and huge things in a small... well, actually, it's kind of really big. Big for me anyway...

I'm going to tell you all these things through a story, Brittany. Think of it as a fairy tale – maybe a Disney one – that involves everything you could ever dream of.

Rainbows.

Unicorns.

Battles.

Kisses.

Kings.

Queens.

_Princesses._

_**Love.**_

Those last two are the most important, okay? You _have _to remember those last two. It's, like, the law of the land or something.

You ready?

Okay...

Not too many years ago, in a sad, lonely and colourless land known as Lima, Ohio, a little girl was born. Her parents were the King and Queen but the little girl didn't see them like that. She saw them as devils. Darkness trapped in the body of status. Power, if you like.

...I hate that word, power...

The little girl grew up just like the land she lived in: sad, lonely and colourless.

This meant that she was beginning to clone her parents. With every year that bounced her age higher and higher and higher and higher, she squashed her personality lower and lower and lower and lower.

Until all that was left was nothing.

...Nothing, Brittany...

Nothing.

That's what this little girl was. She was nothing.

Nothing hated school. She hated it so much that she bit every single person that ever dared come within ten metres of her. She screamed at every single person that ever dared to speak one word to her. She kicked every single person that ever thought about being nice to her.

Nothing hated everyone. Nothing wanted to stay in her bedroom, turn all the lights off, and sit in the nothingness.

Because that's where she belonged.

Nothingness.

Nothing grew older every single day and still she continued to squash her personality.

Her nature, if you like.

Nothing would go to school, bite everyone's arms, scream at everyone's faces and kick everyone's asses. No one would ever tell her off because her parents were the King and Queen and just like they were scared of Nothing, they were scared of her parents.

Everyone was scared of Nothing and her King and Queen parents.

...everyone was always so scared...

Nothing was nine when she met A Little. He was just like her, only a boy version. Nothing played with A Little for every single day. She played with A Little until she was eleven and he tried to kiss her.

Nothing bit, screamed and kicked A Little and then he didn't speak to her again.

Nothing was alone again. Nothing was where she belonged.

Nothing was back in Nothingness.

Nothing was thirteen when she met A Little Bit More. This girl didn't look like Nothing. She was pretty. She was delicate. She was precise.

Nothing was ugly, broken and all mixed up.

A Little Bit More pretended she liked Nothing. Nothing pretended she liked A Little Bit More. They linked arms. They ate lunch together. They joined Cheerio's together.

They hated each other. They lied to each other. They wanted to slap each other so hard that they became blinded to everything good in the world.

Nothing was pretty sure she was already blind from the day she was born.

Nothing was 100% sure she wasn't actually blind. Nothing knew that there was nothing good in this world anyway.

Just like her.

Nothing.

Nothing soon realised she was always living in Nothingness.

Nothingness was her home. Nothing lived in Nothingness.

Nothing was Fourteen when she met Everything.

Everything was perfect. Everything was blonde. Everything was beautiful. Everything was tall and skinny and talented and so, so smart that Nothing thought she put the rest of the world to shame.

Everything was perfect.

...you have always been perfect...

Everything found Nothing sitting in the darkness under the bleachers, crying. She'd just passed A Little when she was walking there and she frowned when she saw Nothing.

Everything didn't say anything. She scooped Nothing up and held her in her arms as Nothing cried and cried and cried and cried.

_(Share my life; take me for what I am.)_

Nothing knew that Everything was different.

Everything was perfect.

Everything found Nothing sitting in the darkness in the janitors closet, crying. She'd just passed A Little when she was walking there and she frowned when she saw Nothing.

Everything didn't say anything. She scooped Nothing up and held her in her arms as Nothing cried and cried and cried and cried.

Nothing already knew that Everything was perfect.

Nothing knew this because Everything did this every single time she found Nothing crying in the darkness.

She even did it when Nothing cried in Nothingness. In her dark, dark bedroom in her dark, dark palace. Everything would climb the trellis underneath Nothing's balcony and hold her whilst she slept.

Everything became everything to Nothing.

...you always have been everything...

Nothing was sixteen when Everything kissed her.

Everything found her curled up in a small, tight ball, crying underneath the engine of her brand new black car.

Oil was dripping onto Nothing's face, dyeing the girl's tears as they fell silently down her cheek and onto the gravel below.

Everything didn't pull her out. She got under the new black car with her and curled up into her side. Everything lay there with Nothing for a very long time until the only thing Nothing could hear was Everything whispering, "You're like a rainbow, so beautiful shining through the rain."

_('Cause I'll never change all my colours for you.)_

Nothing had never been told she was beautiful. Nothing was sure she was ugly.

Everything could see the disbelief on Nothing's face and to take it away, leaned forward and placed the softest kiss on Nothing's full lips.

Everything kissed Nothing a lot after that.

Everything kissed Nothing every single day for two years. Everything told Nothing she loved her. Everything told Nothing that she loved her more than anybody else in this world. Everything told Nothing that because of that, anything is possible.

Nothing was eighteen when she told Everything that she loved her.

_(Take my love, I'll never ask for too much._

_Just all that you are and everything that you do.)_

...you'd think that everything was perfect, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you, Brittany? I'm sorry I ruined that for you. I'm sorry I ruined our perfection...

Nothing thought that making love to Everything was the best thing she had ever done. Nothing thought that when she made love to Everything, she escaped Nothingness for a little while and was allowed admission into Everywhere.

Everywhere was so much nicer than Nothingness. Everywhere had rainbows, and unicorns and beautiful pink and yellow tulips that blossomed and grew all around the bed of leaves in which Everything slept on.

Everywhere seemed like home.

Everything _was_ home. She was always in Everywhere, with her arms wide open, ready for Nothing to curl up in and sleep.

Escape.

_(I don't need to look very much further,_

_I don't want to have to go where you don't follow.)_

When Nothing was eighteen and one month, Nothing got scared. Nothing got so scared that she hid from Everything. She called A Little when she should have called Everything. She spoke to A Little Bit More when she should have spoken to Everything.

She even got involved with Not Even A Little after he told her Everything might not love her back.

That was the last straw.

Nothing hid.

Nothing hid like she always did.

But Nothing forgot that Everything always found her. Especially in the darkness. Especially when Nothing locked herself back in Nothingness.

Everything found Nothing. Everything found Nothing drowning in the river that ran through the forest.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Nothing was drowning.

_(I won't hold it back again, this passion inside,)_

Everything didn't even bother to remove her clothes when she jumped into the freezing, running water. It was running. Running so fast away with Nothing.

Nothing was floating. Nothing was winning. Nothing was leaving Nothingness and entering Heaven.

...wasn't Heaven supposed to be colourful?...

Nothing thought she was going to die until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her naked waist and drag her to the side of the running water.

She fought the arms. She bit them, screamed at them, kicked them like she had always done.

Everything didn't give up.

Nothing did.

Nothing lay there, on the side of the running river, motionless, breathless, colourless.

Everything cried. She cried and cried and cried and cried until her tears fell gently onto the lips of Nothing. She watched as the plump skin absorbed the tears and sparkled a belated thank you to her.

_(I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide.)_

Everything lay there with Nothing forever.

Nothing thought that Forever was even better than Everywhere.

They lay there together as the rain beat down on to their backs. Nothing naked, Everything covered.

Nothing began to sing. She sang and sang until she felt Everything's tears on her lips. She pulled Everything closer to her and held her tight.

_(Don't make me close one more door,_

_I don't wanna hurt anymore._

_Stay in my arms if you dare,_

_Or must I imagine you there?_

_Don't walk away from me._

_I have nothing, nothing, nothing,_

_If I don't have you.)_

Nothing was ill for three weeks after that night.

Everything was ill for one.

Nothing didn't leave her bedroom for three weeks after that night.

Everything left hers after one.

Nothing slipped back into Nothingness. She cancelled calls from A Little. She ignored calls from A Little Bit More. She especially blocked calls from Not Even A Little.

But she didn't stop anything from Everything.

...I would never stop anything from you, Brittany...

Nothing felt Everything's arms every single night she fell into Nothingness.

_(You see through, right to the heart of me._

_You break down my walls with the strength of your love._

_I will never know love like I've known it with you._

_Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to?)_

Everything scooped Nothing into her arms and carried her like a princess to her small house. She carried Nothing into her own bedroom and lay her on her bed. She brought Nothing breadsticks and milkshakes and kissed every single part of her body.

Starting from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

Everything told Nothing that she meant so much to her. Everything told Nothing that she would die if Nothing died.

Nothing cried.

Everything told Nothing that she meant more than anything to her.

Nothing made love to Everything that night.

...I've never made love to you like it before, have I, Brittany?...

Everything moaned and sighed and groaned and gasped. Nothing felt like she was Everywhere and Forever all at the same time.

_(I don't need to look very much further,_

_I don't want to have to go where you don't follow._

_I won't hold it back again, this passion inside,_

_I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide.)_

Everything told Nothing that she loved her.

Nothing told Everything that she loved her too.

So much.

_(Your love I'll remember forever.)_

...I could never forget your love, Brittany...

Everything took Nothing back to school with her the next day.

Nothing was scared. Nothing was so, so scared.

She heard all the whispers.

"_That's the girl who tried to kill herself."_

"_That's the cheerio who nearly drowned."_

"_How can someone want to end their own life? That's so selfish."_

Nothing wanted to run. Nothing wanted to hide. Nothing looked at Everything with so much fear in her eyes, Everything thought she was going to die again.

Again.

Everything turned to all the whisperers, took Nothing's hand and stood in the middle of the hallway. Everything looked at them all and puffed her chest out. Everything squeezed Nothing's hand and spoke as clearly as Nothing had ever heard her, to everyone.

"I am in love with the girl who didn't die. I am in love with the girl who survived."

Everything then turned around and led Nothing to their next class.

Later that night, Nothing held on to Everything so tight. Tighter than she'd ever held her before.

_(Don't make me close one more door,_

_I don't wanna hurt anymore._

_Stay in my arms if you dare,_

_Or must I imagine you there?_

_Don't walk away from me._

_I have nothing, nothing, nothing,_

_If I don't have you.)_

"You have everything." Everything whispered to her.

Nothing shook her head. "I have nothing. I have nothing if I don't have you."

"No." Everything said, sitting up and pulling Nothing into her lap. "You have everything because you _are_ everything."

Nothing frowned. "But you're Everything."

Everything smiled. "Then you're Everything And More."

"But I'm Nothing."

Everything pinched her lips together and let a tear fall down her cheek. "You are _not _nothing. You will never be nothing and you have never been nothing. You are Everything. Everything And More."

Nothing wiped Everything's tear away with the pad of her thumb. "But you are more than me so you must be more than Everything And More."

"What do you see when you look at me?" Everything asked.

_(Don't you dare walk away from me._

_I have nothing, nothing, nothing,_

_If I don't have you.)_

...I see so much, Brittany...

"I see Forever," Nothing answered.

Everything smiled through her tears.

Nothing smiled through her tears. "I see Forever And A Day."

Everything kissed Nothing and told her, "You will always have me. Forever And A Day. I promise."

Nothing had never felt more like Everything than she ever had in her whole life.

They spent that night making love. Making love Forever And A Day.

It was the best night of Nothing's life.

...

...So, you see, Brittany. These are things that you need to remember. Because you told me I had you Forever And A Day.

Forever And A Day, Brittany.

You promised.

So I need you to wake up.

I need you to wake up so you can remember your promise. So you can continue making it and keeping it true.

Because you promised, Brittany.

And because you promised her.

You told her that Mommy will love her Forever And A Day, just like you told me you will.

So come back to us. Come back and tell us you love us Forever And A Day.

Because me and her – Our World – have _nothing_ if we don't have you.

Our World and I need you, Brittany.

We will always need you.

Read this fairy tale every single day for the rest of your life, if it means you will remember me when you wake up. Please. I'm begging you. I need you to make one last promise to me so that you won't truly forget who I am and who Our World is.

She misses you too.

And I'm so sorry for everything I put you through.

But I promise that when you wake up, I will take your hand, walk us both to that goddamn courtroom and puff out my chest, just like you did, and I will say, "I am in love with the girl who didn't die. I am in love with the girl who survived."

Because I owe you that, Brittany. I owe you that and so much more.

Me and Our World are waiting.

We will wait Forever And A Day.

I will always love you, B.

You are Everything and I am Nothing, if I don't have You.

I love you.

_(If I don't have you, oh you.)_


End file.
